Chatty cafes, benches, badges – there are countless schemes encouraging us to talk to strangers and escape loneliness. But do any of them really work? I spent 30 days finding out
Why is no one talking to me? I’ve been sitting in an ice-cream parlour at a designated chatter and natter table for over an hour, waiting to have a meaningful conversation – or any conversation at all. Why has no one approached me yet? A moment or two later I realise I am wearing my headphones. I always wear them, even if I’m not listening to anything, because they are an effective way to avoid conversation – especially with any clipboardy types. But clearly they are counterproductive here. I take them off, and wait.
I’m spending a month trying to have a meaningful conversation with a stranger every day, to see whether it’s possible to strike up new friendships or discussions in a world where we can often seem cut off from one another, with or without our headphones. There are all kinds of schemes set up to facilitate impromptu connections – the chatter and natter table I’m visiting is just one. There are chatty badges, buses, benches and cafes, each designed to help address the UK’s loneliness crisis. According to the Office for National Statistics’ Community Life survey, almost half of England’s adult population experienced loneliness between 2016 and 2017: 5% reported feeling lonely “often” or “always”; 16% were lonely sometimes; and 24% occasionally. The survey’s findings also showed loneliness is more likely to affect women: 18-to-24-year-olds reported feelings of loneliness more than any other age group, while single people and widows are the most at risk group. Research has suggested loneliness can be as bad for us as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
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