You may be disappointed when you realise you have learned only enough moves for the first verse
• Fitness tips: how to get started in online dance
I thought parenting would be all on my terms. I’d curate everything beautiful I’ve read or seen and they’d listen, rapt, while I rolled them all out. In fact, they don’t listen to me at all. I, meanwhile, am obsessed with TikTok. I have no intention of loading my dance skills on to the short-video platform; I’m just explaining why I know surprising things, such as the oeuvre of Ariana Grande, and why I might be interested in an online dance tutorial.
Here’s the thing: dance classes are brilliant, but they’re too mixed-ability. Half the class is MTV-ready in 40 minutes; I’m still looking at my hands trying to find the L-shape for left. It’s humiliating for me, but also annoying for the good ones. The class doesn’t exist – and, yes, I’ve tried a few – that goes slow enough for me. It was only after I’d done an online version of everything else that I realised dance tutorials exist on YouTube.
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