Kettlebell Connect – a smart way to train with weights (if you can afford it)

The way it swaps between six different weight levels is clever, not least because it’s all done at the touch of a button. But it comes at a heart-pumpingly prohibitive cost

I like a kettlebell. Even the word “kettlebell” is nice. It’s like the alarm I have on my phone that reminds me it’s time for tea. They are good for functional training, using lots of muscles at once, and the best thing is that they are simple, because being a cannonball with handles is a straightforward business. You don’t need to know the wifi code or own a smartphone to use one. Until now! It’s 2019, and everything is awful.

Kettlebell Connect, by the awfully named Jaxjox, is the world’s first smart kettlebell, which sounds as necessary as electric crisps. When I started to look into it, however, I was intrigued. For starters, the website boasts: “You can’t work out working out without workouts,” which is the greatest thing I have ever read anywhere. I wondered if this was a reference to a well-known teaching example from linguistics, “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo”, a grammatically correct sentence that is used to illustrate homographic complexity. Then I saw the accompanying picture, of a Henry Cavill-type side-lunging in shorts, and decided it wasn’t.

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