I saw my father kill himself when I was nine years old

Traumatic memories can condemn you to reliving the past over and over. It may be useful, says Annalisa Barbieri, to seek professional help

I am a 17-year-old orphan. When I was growing up, my father was my rock, a gentle, caring single parent. He struggled with mental illness (I found out after he died) but would do anything to protect me and my siblings. Our mother was an abusive alcoholic but Dad took us away to start a new life. She died a few years after we left.

I was nine when my father died. My brother and sister were teenagers. On the day it happened, Dad had just had a fight with my brother; he stormed off to another part of the house, but didn’t see me follow. Then, he killed himself. I ran towards him, screaming, but he died before I reached him. The police and ambulance arrived and took my father away; we never saw him again. My siblings and I slept at the hospital that night and moved in with our grandmother soon afterwards.

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