Your son is trying to communicate to you just how unhappy he is. You can’t ignore it, says Annalisa Barbieri
I have two sons who are eight and 10; I’m happily married and we live in a lovely house with plenty of pets. I work part-time and my husband works full-time, but is always home for supper. In many ways we are a perfect family. However, at the moment we are not finding parenting very rewarding. Recently, my 10-year-old has talked about how nobody cares about him, he wishes he’d never been born, his life isn’t worth living and he has mentioned suicide (in nonspecific ways). I should say that a lot of the time he’s a very happy and balanced boy. He’s also mostly happy and well behaved at school, and is looking forward to going to secondary in a year.
My instinct is that it’s just a phase and isn’t serious, and I am trying to give him positive attention and focus on the good things in life. However, I don’t want it to get worse. A few years ago my son had ongoing soiling issues, which have only resolved in the past year. We saw a private psychologist who thought it didn’t warrant intervention. I’m not really sure that this problem calls for therapy, but I am at a loss as to how to deal with it.
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