My boyfriend and I only have sex once a month – and it's clinical, routine and cold

We had a passionate sex life when we first met, but since moving in together, things have changed a lot, leaving me feeling rejected

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. I am a 30-year-old woman and he is 10 years older than me. We started our relationship long distance, but had a passionate sex life. However, since we moved in together, we only have sex once a month, sometimes not even that. When we do have sex, it’s always in the same position, and it’s quite clinical; it has to be at the same time every week and if we miss that time, we don’t have sex.

I have never reached orgasm with him. He does not like to kiss passionately and tends not to look at me during sex. There is never any foreplay. I have told him bluntly how I feel, but he says that talking is just making the problem worse. I love him very much and our relationship is generally good, but I feel frustrated and rejected. I don’t want to write off my sex life at 30.

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