At the core is something universal, and very human: the desire to get a handle on how we’re doing
The latest trend in romance, according to the New York Times, is the “unimoon”: couples getting married, then going on separate honeymoons by themselves. Like some other lifestyle trends (has anyone ever actually been to a gender reveal party?), it’s unclear if this is actually, you know, a trend. But some people definitely do it. As one newlywed explained: “Neither of us wanted to be where the other one was.” Anyone being honest about their long-term relationship will acknowledge that such thoughts recur from time to time, but right after getting married? It’s hard not to wonder whether the desire to go on a unimoon might be a sign that you should leave your partner behind for an even longer period, such as for ever.
But to express such views, these days, is to risk being found guilty of the modern sin of Judging Other People’s Relationships – something we’re reminded, in article after article, that we definitely shouldn’t do. (In social media lingo, it’s a form of “policing”, which is always bad, unless you’re the one accusing others of doing it; policing-policing is apparently fine.) The notion that the private lives of others are none of our business, though it would have baffled people at most points in history, is unquestionable in ordinary contexts today. The thought that I might harbour an opinion about your decision to have or not have kids, the age difference in your relationship, or your open marriage, seems faintly scandalous. Which is weird, because the truth is that everyone’s judging everyone else’s relationships all the time.
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