Stop intellectualising your emotions and learn to master them instead, says Mariella Frostrup
The dilemma I’m in my early 30s and feel gripped by shame and inertia. I grew up a fundamentalist Christian (my dad was a preacher). But since I came out as a gay atheist some time ago, any meaningful relationship with my parents has been impossible. My childhood has saddled me with a toxic shame I can’t seem to let go of. One sibling is in recovery from heroin addiction and another is still using, and I struggle with addiction to a prescription drug.
My career as an artist has finally taken off, but privately I feel aimless, bored, uninspired, and guilty for no reason. I’ve had all sorts of therapy and read dozens of books about psychology, all of which have given me clarity about my problems, but no actual relief. I’m afraid it’s made me “therapy proof” by pitting my intellect against my feelings. I’ve been on meditation retreats, exercise hasn’t helped, I volunteer with a local charity. I’m on antidepressants. Despite all this, my appetite for socialising and relationships is steadily shrinking, and I feel increasingly alienated from myself and others. How do I break this impasse?
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