Mariella says, don’t worry about it. You’d be surprised how many people find slapping, biting and other mild forms of masochism a stimulant to their carnal pleasure
The dilemma I’ve been with my partner for nine months and everything about the relationship has been great – bar one thing. The sex has been wonderful, but she has a thing about wanting me to spank her. At first I laughed, as I thought it was quite an odd request. But it was clear she was serious, and this is where the problem lies. I have spanked her a few times and, though it arouses her, it makes me feel guilty. I feel bad for all sorts of reasons. But I wonder if I’m overreacting: she is far from submissive in day-to-day life and, as she’s said, it’s her choice. This is a difficult subject to write about, and I don’t know if others have similar concerns. I want us to be able to enjoy sex without anxiety, and would appreciate your views. It’s not something I’ve been able to talk about with anyone.
Mariella replies Don’t worry! What might seem odd, kinky and guilt-inducing to you would be quite low on any list of deviant sexual peccadillos. If sex only boiled down to the bare necessities we’d live in a much less exciting world. Slapping, biting and other forms of mildly masochistic fun are not a majority choice, but you’d be surprised how often they feature as an element in carnal pleasure. That’s why the word “consensual” is the most important one in any lover’s dictionary.
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