I want to cut off contact with my mother – but worry about my sister

You can’t force your mum into therapy, says Annalisa Barbieri, but it may be something you want to explore

My sister and I are both in our 30s and were brought up by our single mother. We need to set boundaries with her, because she’s stressing us to the point where it’s affecting our health.

We have differing relationships with her: she looks to me for comfort and support, and to my sister, who is younger, for things to pick apart. I have always looked after my sister (who says she feels a bit like my daughter) and we are rock solid. But mum judges her constantly. Currently my sister has a toddler and a baby, and has turned to our mum for some help. She criticises my sister’s parenting and then gloats when the “bad” things she predicted happen (all trivial incidents).

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