My wife and I have been married for 15 years. About five years ago, she was diagnosed with MS. Her legs feel as if they have pins and needles all the time and she has severe discomfort or pain if she is touched below the waist. Obviously, this has dampened her sex drive, and she is no longer interested in any sexual contact. We haven’t had sex, and have had almost no intimate contact, for two years. I love her fiercely, but the complete lack of physical intimacy is wearing me down.
People living with chronic illness face a number of sexual challenges. Sometimes there are physiological barriers to sexual function, and this can only be determined by her doctor. But even if there are physiological reasons why she cannot enjoy sex in the same way she did before her illness, there are often ways to alter sexual style to adapt to her new situation – if she wishes. Some of these accommodations might include focusing on finding more comfortable positions for intercourse, trying oral or manual stimulation, erotic conversation, role-playing or massage, and timing love-making to take place when pain is well controlled by medication or other methods.
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