My boyfriend’s parents don’t like me. How can I win them over? | Dear Mariella

Learning their son is bisexual may be difficult for them, says Mariella Frostrup. But your relationship is thriving so don’t make this a deal-breaker

The dilemma My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I love and adore him, but I am worried about our future, because his parents don’t like me. We are very different people. He says that he fell for me when I walked into the bar in the battered wellies my foster dad gave me and that I wear out of loyalty to him. My foster dad also taught me to ride a bike, which suits me because it is solitary and I am pretty self-contained. My boyfriend comes from a close family, grew up in the country, played rugby and is sociable. He walks me to classes and he takes care of me always. I have never felt so loved or so wanted. Which is why it is so difficult that his parents don’t seem to like me.

He only really came out to them after we met, although he had previously told his mum he might be bi. His dad is visibly uncomfortable with any affection between us and leaves if we are left alone. His mum never smiles at me and conversations are short. I tried to talk to her, but she made it plain that they thought he could do better. He says just to give them time, but I don’t know if he is capable of talking to them about it. I don’t want him to have to choose between us. How can we be in a long-term relationship when I am not welcome in his home? I want to make things better between his parents and me, but I don’t know where to start.

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