I want to stop, but the sexual thrill is intense. I still love and hugely desire my wife and know she would be horrified if she knew what I was doing
I am a very happily married man in my 40s. In the past few years, I have been drawn into cybersex with women I meet in chatrooms. All of this happens under an assumed identity, with fake email accounts and incognito browsing. These started as random, one-off encounters, but more recently I have had repeated contact, first with a single mum and then, more recently, with a woman in her 20s. Our online encounters involve sex talk, masturbation and exchanging pictures. I often feel dreadful for days after these experiences, but I can’t stop going back.
My wife and I still have sex, although nowhere near as often as we used to (her libido has dropped since we had children over the past 10 years). She would be horrified if she knew what I was doing. I worry that at some point my family life will come crashing down because of this. The guilt is huge, but it has not been enough for me not to go back. I also feel I would be letting the other women down if I stop. I want to stop, but the sexual thrill is intense. I love and still hugely desire my wife, but I wish we had sex more and were as adventurous as we used to be. I even fantasise about her doing the same thing.
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