You’ll be better able to solve your problems if you stop striving for the impossible
The British-born Zen master Roshi Jiyu-Kennett used to say that her philosophy, when it came to teaching students, wasn’t to try to lighten the burdens they carried through life, but to make those burdens so heavy they’d choose to put them down. I’m no Zen master (I do have the requisite baldness; it’s just that I’m still working on the boundless equanimity). But I’ve always loved that line, because it gets at something profound about the stressfulness of existence.
To spell out what I take from it, which is something a Zen master would never do: most of us subliminally spend our days scrambling to get to a point where we feel like life’s finally in working order, and everything’s under control – which for you might mean total financial security, becoming the perfect parent, leaving your childhood traumas entirely behind, or anything else.
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