Please be quiet: my search for a noise-free life

Pinging mobiles, sniffling passengers, desk diners… The incessant noise of modern life never stops – and it’s infuriating Emma Beddington. So what’s the best way to find some peace and turn down the volume?

Ten years ago, I bought a box of earplugs. My partner occasionally snored and, at about £12 for 200 pairs, it seemed an absolute bargain. That was more than enough for a lifetime of peace, surely? I ran my hand through the slippery packets of foam slugs; they were yellow and pink, like rhubarb and custard sweets. I felt like an earplug millionaire.

The last time I put my hand in the box, I hit cardboard: a lifetime’s supply of earplugs, nearly gone. There are rhubarb and custards under my pillow and in my handbag, in the pockets of every coat I own, in our vacuum cleaner, even stuck to my back as I blearily shower in the morning. I measure out my life in rhubarb and custard earplugs.

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