This can’t be the first time you’ve met someone difficult. Think how have you coped before, says Annalisa Barbieri
I don’t get along with my fiancee’s friend’s husband. They are not a big part of our lives as they live far away and we rarely see them. However, my fiancee holds her friend in great esteem (they have been best friends for a long time). This means that, every few years, the spectre of spending time with her husband arises. I have tried with him, but we have never clicked. I find him overconfident to the point of rudeness and more often than not he offends me in some way, notably by making disparaging remarks about how I look and my career. The last time we met, I told myself I would have nothing more to do with him.
That was a few years ago and now my fiancee wants to visit them. I have tried to explain my reservations, but she downplays previous incidents and seems deliberately deaf and blind to my objections. I have no problem with her maintaining her friendship with the couple and I have encouraged her to visit them on her own, which she has done. However, this time she is insisting that I go, too. I feel she wants to show her friend that she is part of a healthy and happy couple (and other than this we are: we have been together for many years and are to marry this year). But she doesn’t seem to realise the damage this is doing to my mental health and subsequently our relationship. The prospect of this impending trip is causing me a great deal of stress and anxiety. I feel as if I am beginning to hate her when she refuses to acknowledge my feelings. Am I wrong for wanting to avoid exposing myself to further hurt and unhappiness?
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