Great expectations: 'The quest for perfection has cannibalised my identity'

Perfectionism is associated with a long list of psychological disorders, the problem is notoriously hard to treat and it’s on the rise

“You need to practice self-compassion,” my psychologist says to me. This is our sixth session, and, as per usual, he is struggling to find a phrase, a point – anything – that will help me move past the need to seek perfection in every part of my life.

“Yes, but how?” I ask, again. We talk about the usual techniques: not beating yourself up when you think you’ve failed; not automatically falling into a vortex of self-loathing at minor rejections.

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