I no longer love my boyfriend, but I can’t afford to leave him | Dear Mariella

It’s worth examining the cause of your dissatisfaction before you shut the door for good, says Mariella Frostrup

The dilemma I’ve fallen out of love with my boyfriend. I wanted to leave two years ago but, as with many couples stuck in the rental cycle, I had neither the money to walk away from my deposit, nor somewhere else to go. The thought of sharing a cramped apartment with an extremely upset man also didn’t appeal. It was easier to keep the peace, plaster over the doubts and fight for our relationship.

My boyfriend isn’t a bad man – one of the reasons I’ve stayed is because he and his family have been a huge support, especially in comparison with my family who are shakier than the branch of a tree and plagued with mental illness. I’m desperate for stability and to put down roots. This wouldn’t be achievable without another name on the mortgage.

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