You should appreciate the value you offer to your own children, says Mariella Frostrup, and reset their weekly expectations
The dilemma I have a two-year-old granddaughter who my wife and I love dearly. My son and his partner have jobs and we agreed to care for her one day each week. We have found, to our shame, that we’ve come to dread these days. We both still work freelance and the arrangement frequently interferes with this and other activities. We try to make the day fun, but I find it an exhausting chore. I also feel resentful over silly things, such as the inability of the parents to provide a change of clothes or food, etc. To an extent we feel taken for granted. My instinct is to explain we underestimated the task and suggest a new arrangement. Or we could find a childminder to take our granddaughter for a couple of hours; that, of course, would require permission and would probably not be met with enthusiasm. We want to play a big part in our granddaughter’s life, but we’d be happier if this was done in circumstances more suited to our lifestyle. Is that really so bad or abnormal?
Mariella replies First, thank you – on behalf of every working parent blessed with healthy grandparents prepared to assist in lightening the load of childcare. I’d also like to thank you on behalf of the government, as I’m sure they haven’t been in touch. Our current incumbents are the latest in a long line of elected representatives who’ve failed to come up with proper funding for childcare and have instead taken advantage of grandparents to the tune of £22.5bn donated to our economy through their babysitting efforts. That’s just one of the astounding figures I came across recently while helping to launch a manifesto for Insuring Women’s Futures, a voluntary organisation highlighting mind-boggling statistics on how women, in particular, are impacted fiscally by their caring duties, among other financial obstacles.
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