Mariella Frostrup recalls her own battle to protect her children’s privacy – and says this couple must find a better way of communicating
The Dilemma I’m 36, have been married for six months and have a two-month-old daughter. From the day she was born we asked everyone not to post social media pictures of her. My sister-in-law had already posted one, but immediately removed it and apologised. We offered to remove any of our niece and nephew, but were told we didn’t need to. At the same sister-in-law’s birthday another one containing our daughter was posted and then removed after we pointed out our wishes again. Tit-for-tat about double standards escalated over text, with my wife and I being asked to remove any pictures of their children, which of course we were happy to do all along. My wife now says we are not to have anything to do with my brother and his family. I’ve had to say this to my brother and he was shocked. I’m heartbroken. I’ve tried speaking to my wife, but am met with: “You’re choosing your brother and his family over your own.” I’m unable to eat or sleep and don’t want this to get worse. I can’t see a way out.
Mariella replies Let’s try. First, I’m surprised this hasn’t come up as a topic here before. It’s a conundrum faced by all of us as our private worlds leak steadily into the public sphere. I used to firmly believe that children had a right to anonymity until they were old enough to make rational choices about what “public life” really meant. That horse has well and truly bolted. Nevertheless, it’s still possible to try to protect the youngest and most vulnerable among us – as your wife seems determined to do.
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