Fit in my 40s: can't sleep? Try these six tricks | Zoe Williams

I cannot tell you which of these things worked: I can only tell you that one of them did

Insomniacs say it’s the only malady in the world that people who don’t suffer it treat with naked glee. “Really? I sleep like a baby!” they will exclaim, as if the good sleeper has actually won a competition against the bad sleeper, one they didn’t know they’d entered.

I was always more like a machine than a baby. Any soft surface or soothing noise and I’d be out, as if someone had unplugged me. Once, I fell asleep under the lovely buzz of a hairdryer, and when I woke up the hairdresser was calling an ambulance. But like hay fever or depression, never having had insomnia is no reliable protection against getting it.

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