My husband recently killed himself and I can’t face being on my own | Dear Mariella

Allow those around you to help you back on your feet and be kind to yourself until you’re ready to move forward, says Mariella Frostrup

The dilemma It’s only been a few weeks since my husband took his own life, but now the reality is starting to sink in and I feel completely overwhelmed by fear about what the future holds. I’m nearly 40, no children, and was with my husband since I was a teenager. He was my first real boyfriend and my best friend, and his death came as a complete shock. Aside from feeling immense guilt about his death, I was already anxious about living and ageing alone – and now I am living my greatest fear.

I don’t intend or want to be with someone else soon, but when I look online it seems that the odds of someone my age finding love again are unlikely at best. I can’t face the next few decades living alone. I try to see the positives, but my overriding thought is: “What’s the point?” I am struggling to see how life can be enjoyable again now that my husband and best friend is gone.

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