Vital but invisible early lessons that last a lifetime | Holan Liang

At the core of a happy, healthy adult is the resilience they learn as a child. Can this be taught, asks psychiatrist Holan Liang

Knowing the extent of our influence as parents can make our task all the more daunting. The endless rise of new parenting methods we hear about in the media can add to our sense of confusion and lack of confidence. From tiger to helicopter parenting, micro-managers and maxi-organisers, parents whose children don’t throw food to ones obsessed with tutoring, could it be that they’ve all got it wrong? Are parents sweating the small stuff and worrying over the less important aspects of what makes a successful child?

Does it really matter if a toddler throws food, eats quinoa or can recite poetry? I don’t believe it does. I call these things the “outside stuff”, whether it concerns appearances, manners, or anything that children can get a certificate for (and parents can brag to their friends about), it’s all relatively superficial.

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