Being a desk jockey may be unhealthy, but at least it makes us feel safer | Steven Poole

An employee’s desk is an oasis of calm in the horrendous office environment. No wonder we like to stay put

In the latest “being alive can kill you” news, the British Heart Foundation (BHF) is warning of the risks of diabetes and cardiovascular disease from sitting at your desk for too long. As a new survey shows that most office workers spend only half an hour a day on their feet, the BHF and Get Britain Standing are launching a campaign to get people up and walking around more. That might sound sensible from a physical point of view, but psychologically it is myopic. The worse work gets, the more we want to stay at our desks.

Sitting at a desk, after all, feels safe. The depth of the desk provides a physical barrier to anyone threatening to intrude in front of us. (Ideally, there should be a wall at one’s back. That is one of the many reasons why open-plan offices are so unpleasant: the possibility that anyone could creep up on you from behind is why sitting with your back to a door is bad feng shui.) For as long as we sit there, the desk is entirely our domain. The nesting instinct is awakened, and we create a personalised space with photographs, Keanu Reeves action figures, plants, and arrays of mechanical pencils.

Thinking about the real world is often easier, and more comfortable, if you are sitting at a desk